Tuesday, July 19, 2011

You Know It Is Hot When....

After what seems like a MONTH of HOT, I decided to inject some humor into the weather situation.
You know it is hot when...
You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.
Your pool water starts to boil in the sun.
The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."
The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.


  Ranchers in southern states hit be sweltering heat are selling 
fully cooked barbecue right from the livestock.
  "We let the customer choose the cattle and then we hose it down 
with sauce and send it out into the fields.  Within twenty minutes 
the barbecue is piping hot and ready to eat," said a Texas rancher.
  Barbecue restaurants are crying foul over the direct sales of the
product to the public.
  "This damn heat wave is killing the cattle and our business.  We 
can't compete with the lower overhead of the rancher when we provide 
our customers with a table, chairs and fan as well as swat flies," 
said waitress Flo Moore of the "Greasy Fat Dripping Spoon" restaurant
in Amarillo.
  The heat has also changed business for farmers who are using their 
former crop fields as giant baking pans for brownies. 
  "It's the only way I can put my land and this hellish heat to any
use so I'm baking white chocolate, espresso brownies with macadamia
nuts for those rip-off coffee houses, said a farmer in Oklahoma.

I realize that won't cool anyone off, but hope you got a chuckle from it!  

This is the story that made me want to share the weather laughs with you!  I saw it on the news last night.

OMAHA — An Omaha amusement park is using ice to cool its swimming pools as a heat wave grips the Midwest.
FunPlex owner Dwight Anderson said the water in the park's two pools felt like bathwater heading into the weekend. So, he said, two tons of ice cubes were dumped in Friday evening to cool things off.
Anderson said that brought the water temperature in the pools from 88 degrees down to 82. One of the pools is 300,000 gallons; the other is 250,000.
Heat advisories and warnings are in place in Nebraska and 16 other states. The weather is supposed to remain hot for the next several days.
Anderson said he plans to dump more ice into the pools Monday night or Tuesday morning, once he's restocked his supply.

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